The Connection between Bullying, Self-Esteem and Addiction
"We actually brought you in primarily not for addictions, but to talk on bullying and self-esteem. And you were great! I really truly believe that your personal story of being bullied and you bullying others in school was the true beginning of your addictions.
People often wonder why people become addicts. I believe a lot of it has to do with how you are treated in your family. But a lot of it also has to do with how you are being treated by your peers and by the way you are treating your peers...If any school is looking for a bullying speaker, I would definitely recommend you. You showed clearly the connection between bullying as an addiction and bullying as a causal factor in kids not feeling good about themselves, which can lead them to addictions."
Cammy Erickson, Wachter Middle School
Bismarck, North Dakota **
"Having been abused and bullied as a kid, and being a school bully myself, I know how connected bullying, self esteem and addictions can be.
In my talks, I tell kids that my first addiction was to proving myself. One way I used to do that was by controlling others, to make myself look and feel "big." In many ways, I continued that kind of behaviour into my adult life. The bigger and more powerful I felt, the more "in control" I thought my life was. Yet all the while, underneath, I was out of control because of my addictions."
Click here for an audio testimony on bullying
"The following additional comments were provided by Cammy Erickson of Wachter Middle School. While lengthy, I hope they will provide you with more insight about whether this talk may be right for your students.
My gratitude to Cammy for permission to reprint her comments.
You have a great message and kids NEED to hear it! Your talk made a lot of kids think ? especially those that did not want to, the ones that are headed that way [towards bullying and addiction]. Even the kids that were saying to themselves "I don't want to hear this guy" heard what you had to say! In other words, the kids that should be getting your message, got it.
One of the major advantages of having you as a speaker is that we got a message not just about bullying. The kids got a message about the impact of bullying and addiction, all for the same price.
The other major piece was giving those kids who have become addicted ? to food, cigarettes, bullying, cutting or anything else ? an answer to why they became an addict, so they can now begin to change their future.
This is such a crucial time in kids lives, where what people say and do to them really affects the path they are going to turn to.
What is great about your talk is that you don't just go straight into talking about addictions. You talk about the stuff that happens in kids' lives that leads them to addiction. And you help them see how bullying can contribute to other kids living a life of hopeless addiction as well.
You also took the mystery out of it. Kids are smart and they know these addictions have to start somewhere. Sometimes it's because of their families. But with a lot of kids, it is how they are being treated at school by their peers, and how they subsequently feel about themselves. You really got that message across effectively.
Addicted kids feel so much guilt, yet they can't understand why they are doing what they are doing. Your presentation helps them understand why; i.e. "because I am being bullied, I don't feel good about myself." And understanding the problem is half the solution. When your parents bully you or your peers bully you, and you in turn do the same thing to others and you STILL don't feel good about yourself, you then turn to other things to make you feel good. And that can lead to addictions.
I really loved how you made the kids so comfortable that they were able to ask such serious questions at the end ? even though there were so many teachers in the audience. Kids, especially middle school kids, won't normally put up their hands and ask a question. But you made them feel comfortable enough that they could ask anything, and they did. Your story made them feel like you were one of them. Quite frankly, I was surprised that the kids asked the questions they did."
Cammy Erickson, Wachter Middle School
Bismarck, North Dakota
